A Paws for Thought: Since When Did We Have to Explain Ourselves?
I was scrolling through Facebook today when I came across a reel featuring famous men who don't have children. What struck me wasn't that they didn't have children, but that so many of them seemed to feel the need to explain why.
Some didn't want children. Some didn't want to bring children into the limelight. Others hadn't felt ready.
All perfectly legitimate reasons. But I found myself wondering why they needed to justify themselves at all.
And then I thought about my own life.
I'm vegetarian. I've been vegetarian for six years, and every now and then someone asks me why. My mum still occasionally expresses amazement that I've stuck with it for so long. "I can't believe you've kept it up for six years. You used to love sausages!"
Yes, Mum. I did. I don't anymore. I'm quite happy with my choice, thank you very much.
I've also not had any alcohol for ten months. When people ask, I tell them I don't like how I feel the next day. That's it. I don't want it, so I don't drink it.
Yet somehow, these decisions seem to invite questions. Explanations are expected, as though I've done something unusual that needs to be accounted for.
I'm not suggesting that people can't be curious. There's nothing wrong with a genuine question, asked with genuine interest. But there's a difference between wanting to understand someone and expecting them to justify themselves to you.
But for me, the point is, we don't all want the same things. We don't all enjoy the same things. Our priorities differ, our circumstances differ, and what makes one person happy might leave another completely cold.
And surely that's allowed?
I certainly don't need to explain my reasons to someone because they aren't comfortable with them.
I'm comfortable with my choices. That's enough for me.
Perhaps we could all benefit from being a little less interested in why other people don't do what we do, and a little more willing to let them get on with their lives.
Sometimes, "Because that's what I've chosen" really should be the end of it.
And I'm done. 🐾